


The Half of It

by randomramblesff



Category: Assassination Nation (2018)
Genre: Age Difference, Cheating, Daddy Kink, Deleted Scene, F/M, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 04:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16569446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomramblesff/pseuds/randomramblesff
Summary: Lily accepts Rose's invite to dinner with The Mathers.





	The Half of It

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no way condoning Nick’s behaviour or their relationship. I just found the thought of her actually going to dinner at their house intriguing. This movie f'ed me up; it f'ed me up real good. I’d advise not reviewing or leaving kudos because otherwise I might be tempted to write more (I’m kidding. Please do.)

Rose is persuasive. She’s persuasive in the way that it makes perfect sense that she found a life partner in Nick. They both know how to turn it on, make you feel as if you should do this or you should do that. As if not going to dinner will mean it will be the last time you’re invited or that you’ll cause their daughter anxiety because you used to be so close. She doesn’t say that, of course, but it’s implied in the way she sighs over the phone and the way she squeezes your hand and winks at you on the doorstep like you’re in on a secret.

If only she knew the half of it.

* * *

“I’m so glad you accepted the invite. Carly’s been looking forward to it all week.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Come on in, you know your way around, don’t act like a stranger.”

You laugh and follow behind her, your hands in your back pockets, one of them glued to your phone in case it slips out. There are only two pairs of shoes inside the door, you notice; heels and light-up sneakers. Your question is answered moments later after you’ve slipped off your own.

"Nick’s not home yet but he’ll be back just in time. Hopefully, he’s remembered you’re coming, you know what he’s like.”

You laugh again, nervously this time because you do know what he’s like but not in this setting; not since he put his hand on your thigh and wished you goodnight before letting his fingers drift across your skin like a fea-

-“LILY! Lily, you’re here! I missed you so much!” Carly comes sprinting in, wrapping her arms around your legs, pulling you from your thoughts.

“Hey, sweetie. Aw, I missed you too.” You stroke her hair because it’s true. You do miss her. You miss the safety she used to bring you.

“Can I show you something? Upstairs? In my room?”

You laugh and reach to pick her up, watching an approving smile grace her mom’s face as she walks to the kitchen.

“I’ll call you down when you’re needed.”

“Thanks.”

You run your hands through Carly’s hair as you walk upstairs, pressing a loud kiss to her cheek.

“What’s so important that you have to show me then, huh?” You let her down, following her scurried footsteps to her room of pink. You check your back pocket and your phone is still there, so, you perch on the bed, content.

“Look at these toys, I got! Everyone has them at school but I think mine are the best ones.”

“Wowww. Those are something. Very impressive.”

You smile even though all she’s showing you are plastic figurines coated in glitter and you reach out for one to walk along the side of her bed frame.

“Daddy said that if I’m a really good girl I might be able to get another one for my birthday.”

Your smile tightens and you drop the toy onto her blanket.

“Did he? That’s nice of him. I’m sure you will.”

“I wish you could come to my birthday party but he said you can’t.”

He lied but you’re thankful.

“Aw, I know. I’m just so busy with school now and my friends… I’m sure you’ll understand one day.”

“Our new babysitter isn’t as nice as you. She doesn’t let me play on the iPad if I can’t sleep and she’s really old.”

“Really old? No, I’m sure she’s not.”

“She is! She’s like… thirty.”

Of course, she is, you think. At least you’re not replaceable; it’s a small victory.

You hear heavy footsteps so you can edge closer to the end of the bed and toe the door all the way closed.

“Is that Daddy?”

You feel your phone vibrate against your thigh, so you pull it out, holding it close to your chest.

 **Daddy:**  Forgot you were coming

“I think so…” You answer her, distracted, your heart now starting to pound against your ribcage.

 **You:**  I didn’t realise I was forgettable

Carly gets up then, making you lock your phone screen.

“I don’t know if dinner’s ready yet, sweetie.”

“I want to go see Daddy.”

“Of course.”

Your phone buzzes again as you hear a door open and close in the next room.

 **Daddy:**  stop messaging

You hear muffled voices and a happy shriek from Carly, so, you take that as your call to walk back downstairs before he gets the chance to see you.

It’s not that you don’t want to see him. Rose isn’t that persuasive. There was always a part of you that wanted to see what would happen if you were under his roof again; that wanted to see how he would respond.

Would he get nervous? Would he just stay quiet and smile like when he sees you in passing? Would he message you under the dinner table, his foot sliding towards yours? Would he make your skin feel like it’s on fire and make your thighs clamp shut? Would he take you in a room alone and do all the things he says he wants to do to you?

“Would you mind helping me put some glasses on the table? I would have asked Nick but he rushed straight upstairs.”

You’re shaken out of your thoughts, wandering into the kitchen.

“Of course.” You say, reaching for the glasses in her hands before placing them down in the right places. It isn’t the first dinner you’ve had with them, so, you know where they should go. Or so you think.

“Lily! Can I sit next to you?” Carly squeaks as she runs down the stairs. You turn and catch Nick behind her, his shirt sleeves rolled up and his top buttons undone.

“Go on then,” Rose answers, once again winking in your direction. You follow orders and place Carly’s pink cup down next to where you’ll be sat.

“Nick, you haven’t welcomed Lily in yet.”

“Oh it’s fine, don’t worry.” You wave a hand dismissively as you continue to set the table.

“We all know each other here, no need to get formal.” He says, walking past you towards Rose - his wife -, his hands going to her shoulders, his thumbs kneading into her back. Carly wants you to watch her twirling and dancing, so, out the corner of your eye, you see him kiss Rose’s cheek and the crown of her hair.

You wonder if he does it as a cover or if he’s still really like that with her; affectionate, loving, kind. If he is, he’s capable of doing the same to you. He tells you he cares about you, that he’d miss you if you ever stopped talking to him. He tells you you’re the most beautiful girl in the world and that she - Rose - was never like you.

He also tells you you’re a slut and a whore and that you misbehave like a dirty girl and that all the boys at school must want to step out of class and fuck you. But that’s only when he wants to see your nipples against your shirt or see you kneeling on your bedroom floor, begging him to tell you what to do on the phone.

Sometimes you imagine them together. You imagine their boring sex; missionary, vanilla, the kind which has her crying out “I love you” because that’s what she thinks it’s about. The kind of sex where he finishes without even muttering a word before rolling over and falling asleep instantly. Maybe there are times when they fuck - when he’s angry or he’s already watched porn that day or he’s watched you in his office alone and he needs to take it out on something more than his hand - but it doesn’t happen often.

“Okay, Carly sit at the table.” Rose walks over with a pie dish in hand.

You refocus, looking up to see him watching you from where he stands near the kitchen countertop. He has a glass up to his lips - the one you put down on the table - and you have to look away. You sit down, smiling at Carly as she climbs up beside you. She reaches over trying to hug you without losing balance. You kiss her head briefly before sitting up properly, waiting for Nick and Rose to get seated.

“Well, this is nice, isn’t it? Next time we should have your parents over, too. I can’t remember the last time we saw them.” Rose pours water from a jug into her glass before sliding it towards you so you can pour your own. Nick sits then, white wine sloshing around in his glass. Rose doesn’t drink for health reasons, you remember.

“Oh sorry, Lily. I didn’t offer you anything other than water. There’s soda in the fridge if you want it.”

“I’m good, thank you.”

“Can I have soda?” Carly pipes up, grinning at both of her parents.

“No, soda’s only for grown-ups and for special occasions. You’ll have some on your birthday.” Nick points a finger in her direction.

“I should have said, it’s help yourself. Just serve however much you want. There are veggies in that other dish, too.”

“I probably won’t eat much, there was a caterer at work today. Big lunch.” Nick states, pulling a slice of pie onto his plate and a small spoonful of broccoli.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that. How did the meeting go?”

“Good. Made some good progress.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“Progress on what?” You ask as you finish plating your food. Nick licks his lips, clearly surprised by your question. “Sorry, I don’t mean to pry. I’m just curious, that’s all.”

“I was meeting with investors for a major property development I’m working on. It’s a big deal. Lots of money in it.”

He answers her and then tilts his head.

“Well, we’re very proud. You’ve been working hard lately. So many late nights.”

You know that’s a lie. You’re part of his late nights. He only messages you when he’s completely alone and usually, that’s when he’s in his office at home. Sometimes it’s for a few minutes, sometimes it’s an hour. Sometimes he doesn’t ask for photos, he just keeps talking and sees how far you’ll take it.

“Carly, I want you to eat all of those vegetables, okay? Don’t just pick at the pie.”

“Yes, Mommy.” She turns to you and rolls her eyes and you laugh because you can’t help it.

“That’s you, you know, Nick. Teaching her to roll her eyes at me.”

Nick looks up, frowning. He swallows the food in his mouth before leaning across the table.

“I’m pretty sure that was Lily’s doing. Just because she’s not around as much, doesn’t mean she hasn’t had an influence on her.”

You smirk, putting your fork down.

“I think that’s a good thing, though, right? Girls need to feel like they can roll their eyes and have a bit of attitude. We’re always told not to but then boys can just be boys.”

Rose laughs and Nick rolls his neck around, his tongue in his cheek, amused.

“Yes, well, I’d rather it not be directed at me, that’s all.”

Nick grins around his fork before staring at you, shaking his head a little. When you look away, ignoring him, you notice him tense up and go back to eating.

“Speaking of boys will be boys and all that kind of stuff; a friend of mine told me that there’s some sort of female art exhibition going on at the moment. It’s supposed to be about supporting more women in art. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it, honey?”

“Well, I don’t know about me but it sounds like something Lily might be interested in.”

You flick up your eyebrows, curling a hand around Carly’s wrist where she’s laid it out beside your plate.

“Maybe.”

“Well, you do art at school. You do drawings.”

Rose knows this. You used to do your assignments at this table. She doesn’t know about the drawings he’s seen, though. The ones that school doesn’t approve of. The ones that he said he wished he could watch you draw in real time. He said it would turn him on, knowing that you were imagining somebody touching themselves, a pencil between your teeth in concentration.

“Lily’s amaaaaaazing at drawing.” Carly coos. You stroke her hair and pat her back.

“And you should eat up.” You laugh and share a smile with Rose, who appreciates the help in making sure Carly doesn’t get too distracted.

Your phone vibrates for the third time tonight. Just like it’s instinctive to tell Carly to sit around and finish her dinner, it’s instinctive to jump to the conclusion that it’s him. So, you look up but he’s somewhere else, gulping back more wine and smiling widely at Rose.

You check the screen, dismissing a message before placing your phone down on the table. That gets his attention. He looks down at it, pushing food around his plate.

It buzzes again so you apologise.

“Oh don’t worry about it. We don’t usually have phones at the table but we can make an exception.” Rose winks again.

 **Mark:**  come over tonight

It buzzes once more and you start to feel Nick’s foot bouncing under the table, his knee making it wobble slightly.

 **Mark:** pls? why are you ignoring me lily

“Who is it?” Nick asks. You swipe across the screen before answering him.

“Mark.”

“That’s your boyfriend, right?” Rose asks.

“Yeah. Sorry, I forgot to tell him I was coming over.”

“How long have you been together now?” Nick asks, knowing the answer already.

“About a year and a half. Maybe two years.”

“OooOoOOOH.” Carly teases in a sing-song voice. You roll your eyes and can’t help but blush.

That’s when you feel his foot. He’s put it between your own. His shin is against your legs. You close your legs around it, shifting forwards.

“He treats you well?” Rose asks and Nick pulls back, coughing into his glass as he picks it up.

“Yeah. Yeah, he’s… he’s Mark.”

Carly yawns and slumps forward.

“Carly, sit up.” Nick orders.

“Aw, she’s tired.” You stroke her back soothingly and Rose stands up.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed. You are up later than usual. We can have a drink once she’s asleep before you go. Is that okay?”

You smile and say yes, not thinking.

“Nick, will you clear the table? Deal with the dishes?”

He smiles tightly and stands up, leaving you to finish your last mouthful alone at the table.

Rose tells Carly to say goodnight to Nick so you watch them, a sudden pit in your stomach.

You’ve thought about what would happen if it ever got out. Not thoroughly, perhaps too naively, but you’ve thought about it. Maybe they’d work through it; maybe Rose would let him stay. Carly would never forgive you. You’d never see her again. You’d never see him again. He’d change his number. He’d probably leave town.

Or maybe, in one version of reality, he’d choose you over her. He’d finally say he loves you. He’d leave town but it would be with you. You’d be the one in his bed at night. You’d finally know what it would feel like to have him kiss you and touch you and fuck you. You’ve dreamt about it. He knows you’ve touched yourself at the thought of his mouth on you and the thought of him being inside of you.

You’d leave your friends and maybe they’d never understand but it might be worth it; the world he could show you. Mark would never do it. You think it’s brave, the fact that he’s risking it all for you.

You’re selfish but you love him.

You stand up and start on the dishes himself. Rose notices and tells you they can go in the dishwasher.

“Goodnight, Carly. See you in the morning.” You hear him say. He kisses her and pulls her close before letting her go with Rose upstairs.

You’re alone together.

You take the last two plates to the countertop and open the machine, placing them all in one by one. You can hear him sighing and running his hands through his hair behind you but you don’t turn, you just keep placing things before you stand to close the front door up. That’s when you feel him come closer.

Your breath hitches as he puts his empty glass down and he slowly turns on his heels, his hands sliding across the counter, his wedding band scratching the surface. You feel his breath against your back and that’s when he moves his other hand so you’re surrounded by him; caged in.

You stand up tall, your breathing shaky against his which seems deep and slow and in control.

“You liked coming over. I can tell. You like knowing something she doesn’t.”

He breathes out, pushing himself into you. He’s hard. You’ve never felt it before. He’s only ever told you how his body responds to you. You’ve always had to imagine.

You whimper without meaning to and you fall back on him. He reaches out, his fingers clenching around your waist.

“Careful.”

You gulp. He brushes some of your hair from over your shoulder.

“Nick! Carly’s coming back down, she’s upset she didn’t say goodnight to Lily.”

“Slut.” He mutters under his breath – out of frustration, you guess - before turning around, standing against a chair at the dinner table. You know why.

Carly comes running down and skids a little across the floor before throwing herself into your arms. Nick stands back for a moment, carefully watching the top of the stairs.

“Goodnight Lily. I hope I see you really really really soon.”

“Aw, baby, I know. If I can, I will, okay? I can’t make any promises. And if I don’t see you before your birthday I hope it’s extra extra special.”

“Thank youuu. Night night.”

“Sweet dreams, Carly.”

Nick moves away then - you can’t help where your eyes land - and reaches out for Carly. He picks her up but doesn’t move away. He kisses her and holds a hand under her legs.

“You’re Daddy’s little princess, aren’t you?” He growls into her neck before eyeing you purposefully.

“I’ll take you upstairs. Come on.” He shakes her foot and does just that, their voices dying out as they reach the top with Rose.

You finally breathe, hard and loudly.

Five minutes later, your phone buzzes and you forget where you left it. You panic until it buzzes again, against the wooden table. You scramble for it.

 **Daddy:** You wish I’d fucked you there and then

He must be upstairs, alone. You won’t deny it but you also won’t lead him on, not now. Definitely not here.

 **You:** Did you want to?

 **Daddy:** what do you think

 **You:**  you’d never do it

Three dots appear to show he’s typing but they fade away and don’t come back. You keep waiting and waiting. You reply to Mark.

 **You:** at some lame family dinner, sorry I didn’t tell you

“Well, that was nice. I’m so glad you came over, even if it was just for a brief dinner.” Rose walks down the stairs, stopping at the bottom to make sure Nick is following.

“It was nice, wasn’t it Nick?” She asks when he comes into view.

He nods and smiles vaguely in your direction.

“Would you like tea? Coffee? Are you sure you don’t want that soda?” Rose asks, heading for the fridge.

“You probably want to go home now, don’t you?” Nick asks, watching you.

“Maybe I’ll take the soda for the road.”

“Okay, sure. We won’t keep you.”

Nick sighs, walking into the living area where you now are. Your phone is in your hands and he’s staring at it. When he talks, it’s loud so you know Rose can hear it.

“Did Mark ever get an answer to his message?”

“He did. I think he’s mad at me.”

“Angry?“

“He wants me to himself.”

Confusion flashes across his face momentarily and even though you didn’t mean to imply anything, you enjoy seeing him panic. He knows you haven’t told anyone so what does he think you meant?

“Soda.” Rose strolls over and holds out a can. You take it graciously and pop it open to start sipping on.

“Can Nick drive you home?”

You gulp back some soda too quickly and have to hold a fist to your mouth.

“It’s fine. I drive, remember?”

“Of course, force of habit. Well, at least let him walk you to your car.”

You can’t say no because he’s done it before and you know you won’t say no because you want to know what he’ll do next. It’s a game and you want to make sure you don’t miss a turn.

“Thank you, again. Stay in touch, won’t you? We don’t want to lose you completely.”

“I know.” You smile tightly before being pulled into a hug. Nick walks to the door and unlocks it, letting the cool evening breeze roll in. You slip on your shoes, bending to pull the heels up with a hooked finger. You can feel his eyes on your ass and it makes your skin buzz.

“Drive safely, Lily.” You wave goodbye and she tells Nick she’s going to head upstairs for a bath.

He acknowledges her quietly before he follows you, keeping a distance until the door is closed and you’re immersed into the dark shadows, out of shot of the street lights.

You open your car door and go to shut it but he holds it back with his hand, firmly and strongly.

“Why the rush? You used to enjoy me taking you home.”

You look down at him, swinging your legs around so that you’re facing him, your feet dangling out the door.

“You didn’t reply to my message.” You ask boldly. You’ve never discussed your conversations in person. He clenches his teeth and you hope you didn’t cross a line. His eyes drift to where your legs are open, your shorts rising up your thighs. He licks his lips.

“I could. I could unzip your shorts. Nobody’s watching.”

He hasn’t touched you since that time he put his hand on your thigh that made you squirm in your seat. When he clutched onto your waist it didn’t count; he’s held you like that before. He held you like that before he ever called you beautiful or before he ever told you he wanted you to suck his cock until he was coming in your mouth. He held you to stop you tripping over and to stop you catching a ball when you played with his daughter in the yard. You wonder when things changed or if he always thought those things about you. You hope he did.

He won’t touch you now. He likes to leave you wanting more; wanting everything.

“Good night.” You say, turning to put your feet on the pedals.

“Say it.”

You clench your hands tighter on the steering wheel.

“Good night, Daddy.”

He slams the door shut and walks away. You wait - you always wait - and your phone buzzes against your leg.

 **Daddy:** send me a photo when you get home

 **Daddy:** when you’re in bed

The next time you see him, it’s through Em’s window.

The time after that is the last.


End file.
